I Dare You To Read The Whole Thing
by Lego Dinasaur
Summary: I honestly don't know how to explain this story, so here's a bunch of warnings: There is some Benvolio/Romeo/Mercutio, Mentions of Romeo/Juliet and Benvolio/Rosaline, and lots of Benvolio/Mercutio. There is blood, character death, MPreg, and a high chance that this story will mentally scar you. This story is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution.


The kiss was bittersweet, for it would be the last one they'd ever share. After a long moment, Benvolio pulled away. Romeo looked at him. "Is something the matter, cousin?" he asked. Benvolio sighed.

"Things will never be the same, you know." he said. Romeo nodded in agreement. A faint 'say it ain't so' came from a lump in the blankets. Romeo pulled them back to reveal Mercutio, who had been there the whole time.

"Oh, is it my turn now?" he asked. Romeo shruggered.

"Sure, why not." Romeo straddled Mercutio's waist and the two began kissing while Benvolio lit a cigarette and watched. Ignoring the moans coming from the two, he let out a puff of smoke.

"Are you sure she's the one? This Juliet?" he asked. Romeo moaned. He took that as 'yes' and continued to talk. "So if you're done with Rosaline... Can I tap that?" he asked. Another moan. He took that as a 'Go for it man you bone that fine chick. You're always welcome to my left overs'. Benvolio smiled sadly. The loss of his cousin would mean the gain of another woman. But how bitter was the thought of losing his sweet cousin's plush rump. He put out his cigarette and joined them under the sheets. This would be the last time the three of them could do this together.

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It was nightfall by the time they finished. Romeo had set off to go seek his dear Juliet's window. Benvolio and Mercutio were left together.

"Hey. Benni-kun?" Mercutio asked, poking his side. " Do you love me?"

"Yes, Mercici. I do. But I also want to put my dick in Rosaline"

"We both can do that. Together."

"Yes. Together."

They smiled at each other, leaning closer so they could sacrifice the baby lamb lain on the stone slab before them. Mercutio let out a sigh, the lamb's life-force being sucked into his body.

"Thank you, Benvolio. Without you, I would still be dead."

"It's no problem. What is a lamb, compared to you? I'd slaughter all the lambs in the world for your sake, if I had to!"

Mercutio blushed. "Would you? Oh happy day!"

They leaned over the slaughtered lamb's corpse and shared a deep, passionate kiss. Slow, and filled with unspoken words. Without communication, the couple pushed the lamb off the slab, it's blood leaving a scarlet streak on the stone's fine surface. They climbed on top on the slab, the lamb's blood smearing all over their bodies as they moved together on the slab. Their kiss grew deeper. More desperate. Benvolio reached up a hand to tenderly cup Mercutio's cheek, then slowly slide it down his face. The lamb's blood had left a hand print. Benvolio chuckled. Mercutio pulled away and looked at him. "What is it?" he asked. Benvolio lifted two of his blood soaked fingers and wiped it on Mercutio's forehead, leaning forward and seductively whispering "Simba". They went back to aggressively making out. At some point Mercutio had reached over the side of the slab and grabbed the lamb by the leg, pulling it up to them. As they grinded against each other, he used the lamb as a puppet, removing Benvolio's clothes.

"Baa" whispered Benvolio.

"Maaa" cooed Mercutio.

They continued for hours of passionate tension. When morning came they made a gruesome discovery.

Benvolio was roused by a hissed whisper of his name. "Benvolio? Benvolio wake up!" he opened his eyes to see Mercutio's still-bloody face only inches above his own. "You're not going to believe this" he said as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm pregnant." Benvolio sat up quick, almost falling off the slab. Examining him, Mercutio seemed to have a rounded tummy, looking as if he was 9 months pregnant.

"Oh my God. Oh my God." Benvolio whispered. "You're... You're pregnant." A single tear trailed down his cheek. "This is... wonderful!" he hugged Mercutio and they cried happily together. To celebrate the conception of their unborn child, they tore off the legs of the lamb corpse and feasted on it's raw flesh.

Once they finished, Mercutio cried out. "B-Benvolio! The baby is coming!" Benvolio rushed to his side, picked him up, and set him down on the bloody stone slab.

"It'll be ok! Deep breaths. In out in out..." Mercutio wailed just as the head began to show. "Just a little more!"

And with that, there was a loud 'pop!'. The baby came out, landing perfectly in Benvolio's arms. "You did it" he cried. "Oh Mercutio, just look at him... Mercutio?" he looked at his love. Mercutio lay dead on the slab. A cold and lifeless corpse yet again. Benvolio let out a pained cry and holding their baby, wept over his lover's corpse. "Oh Mercutio... Mercutio!" he sniffled and tried to gather himself, remembering that he had a child to care for now. He looked down at the baby, only to flinch in horror. He was staring into the baby's face – Tybalt's face. The baby Tybalt looked up at him and cackled in an evil baby voice.

"I have won the battle. I am the victor. It is me."

-END-


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